lundi 8 novembre 2010


Last night I cried myself to sleep. The dog followed me and I was never able to take care of it. ''The dog came with me out of its own free will and it died because of it!'' That is what I keep telling myself.

I am in Denmark now. And I must continue what the dog wanted me to do. Get to Denmark and find my mother. And now that I am in Denmark, I must find her.
So I will beg a ride.

I am in a lorry and we have to cross the frontier again. The driver said that he will stow me away inside. He has two boys of his own. And that I had to get to the family I was speaking of, in my ''condition''. And that he could not even bring himself to give him to the officers.

Were in a town called Kolding, and the lorry driver has a friend, who said he can take me to Copenhagen.

I had meet several lorry driver. They didn't ask many questions. I also went on a ship. I lorry driver, bought me a ticket. A ship is way more volley than you think.
Its had a dinning room and the rooms are nice.

I am finally in Copenhagen. And the lorry driver told me that if I could give the address he could drive me directly to my mother. But I didn't have any address so I told him that it was in my bundle, i the back of the car. Of course I lied because he would grow suspicious. It has been many days since the dog died. And if I do not reach my mother then the dog had died for nothing.

I just found an address book. I looked. It took me a long time before I found people called Hjorth Fenfel. There were six of them. But only one with an E in front of her name. Her address was Strandvejen 758.

There are many lorry's that could understand English. Once I found a lorry who could I told her the address. She told me it was far.

I an finally here at 758 Strandvejen. Its been a long time since I am looking at it. Everything smells nice.

I am now in the house. This is how it went. I kept staring at it. And then a women came out. I just had to say. '' Madame mon nom est David... And she said'' David... mon fils...

And from now on I hope we will live happily ever after.

Unexpected sacrifice

I am now in a city called Basle. I just noticed not Basle is partly in France. that is were Johannes used to live. He lived in a city called Alsace. I want to go as fast as possible but I must stop to look at it.

Its been two days since I wrote anything. I just found out that to get to France. I would have to cross a great river, and the frontier runs along it through the town. There also was a road-barrier and the soldiers and passports were to be inspected. So I will no go to Alsace. So I will now go beg a lift from a swiss.

There is another barrier, to go to Germany. So I will use the same technique.

I soon as I got off on the other side of the barrier, I went into the town and started walking. A car pulled up and stopped. I stopped also. King, I think sensed my fear and started growling at the man. The man started talking to me. he called me  a vagabond ( which means tramp in French). He said that I slipped across the frontier, pretty nimbly. He asked me were I was going, I replied that I was going to Brunswick. Then he said that he is not going as far as that but that he will give me a lift to Frankfurt, if King can behave.
Its is hard to write in the car. It is very bumpy. So i will write some more when we get to Frankfurt.

The swiss was called Graf, and I had to fall upon the story of the circus. I told him I had been taken ill in Naples. It felt so wrong to lie to someone who seemed so kind and gentle. But I had to if I didn't want to go back to the camp. He told me that German money is called marks. He said that he thought I was not a rascal. And he asked me if I ran away from my parents. I said no and he believed me. But he did not believe my story of the circus.
And when we finally got to Frankfurt, he stood watching in tell I reached the corner of the street.

I have noticed that people are nervous when they first see King. Because he is big and looks like he will bite. But when they saw how he obeyed me so well, and how nice he was. They called him a ''Sheep in a wolfs clothing.''.
I always spoke to him quietly and politely to him. People did not understand why, I would speak this way to a dog. But King had chosen to go with me. And he should remain a free.
He is clever to. I hear people say that dogs are as smart as a human being. But I think that a dog id a dog, and a human is a human. You can not be as clever as something different.
But I must not rely to much on King's protection. Dogs could bite. But they can not get the better of them.

I don't know how long I had been walking, but I saw....''Them''. I am laying still be hide a bush. King is being quiet. I have to get passed them. I don't know what to do. I will write what happens later., for good. I had thought that my life would end there. Shot by a riffle. And so I prayed. I remember exactly what I said:
''  God....God of the green pastures and the still waters. I've one promise and help left, but its to late now. You can't do anything about this. I don't mean to be rude, because I know you're very strong, and you can make those men down there, want to walk away for a bit. but they won't. They don't know you see, and there not afraid of you. But they are afraid of the commandant because he'll have them shot if they leave their posts. So you can see that their nothing you can do now. but please don't think I'm blaming you. It was my own fault for not seeing the danger in time. I shall run....Perhaps you'll see they aim straight, so it doesn't hurt before I die. I am so frightened of things that hurt. NO, I forgot. I've only one promise of help left, and it's more important you help the dog get away and find some good people to live with. Perhaps they'll shoot straight anyway, but if they don't it can't be helped:  you must save the dog because it once tried to protect me. Thank you for having been my God: I'm glad I chose you. And now I must run, for if I leave it any longer I shan't have the courage to die.
I am David Amen.''

King kept whimpering he wanted to go back the way he came from. I told him, that its to late. I told him to sit still and that when they shoot me that he can get away by himself. King kept licking my face, and wiggling like it wanted to get up.
And then he jumped out of cover...Before I could stop him.
As soon as he went I understood what he wanted to do. He wanted to take my place!
He barked loudly sprinting towards them. He wanted me to run! And so I did as fast as I could as soon as I was out of breath I stopped. Then I heard a gun shot and a loud and strange noise from the dog....He died.
He scarified himself He shouldn't have done it!

A letter to Carlo

I am sitting at the Chery-Blossom tree. And thinking of Maria made me think of Carlo. I am thinking that Carlo, is perhaps not evil...but maybe just stupid. And also it made me think of the news paper, I saw in Milan. And that maybe I should write back. I still remember their address. So I went into town and bought a stamp, a letter and some paper. I will write a letter to Carlo saying that I no longer think he is evil, but I have to practice here before I actually write down anything on the nice paper.

'' To Carlo,
 Carlo, I want you to know I'm no longer so sure you're bad. Perhaps you're only stupid. And so I'll stop hating you, because I only hate those who are evil. But if you ever use force again, and I get to know about it, then I shall hate you again. Will you thank you're parents for writing the letter in the paper. I saw it. And will you say I've written to you. Tell you're parents and Andrea and the two little ones and Maria. Tell Maria first, that I've seen a tree full of bloom, thats made me think of her.


I wrote Carlo on the envelope and then the children's father's full name.. And then that the house lays in Italy. It took me some time to find a letter-box. but after a while I finally found one.

Today I earned money at the station in Lucerne. I had to spend more now that I had to feed the dog. In the last few days, I enjoyed walking with the dog. So I dog not need to beg a lift.

The Chery-Blossom

Spring is very beautiful. I still have some money left from Milan. And I had not spent it all. Because the farmer took me in. And I went in a bank so I could exchange the money for some money that I could use in Switzerland. I was afraid to go at first but I had to because I needed bread and King was not used to being so hungry.  But I still managed to earn money, that I could use. I will write again after a few days.

I am now in the country, it is very beautiful. There are great big mountains, and there peaks are beautiful to look at. But I found something more beautiful of all. On top of a small hill there was a tree with pink flowers. I think it is called a Chery-Blossom. It reminds me of Maria. It made me smile. I had not smiled in a long time.
The Chery-Blossoms flowers are so delicate... just like Maria.

My escape

So far the farmer did not notice anything. Because I put a bucket in front of the hole, so that the farmer won't be able to see it. But I am growing sleepy during the day. And I think the farmer is beginning to notice, why I don't put as much effort into my work. The hole is still not big enough for me. It will take a few more weeks perhaps.

I will write again when it is finally time to escape.

It is not time to escape but I have got something really important to write. The dog protected me again once more, and this time as I was listening to the farmer. He told his wife, that I would have to be handed in to the police right away because I have gotten hold of the dog.
That means I have to get away tonight.

Finally the hole is big enough for me to crawl out. I will have to use a broom stick. Because There is still some snow outside beside the stable. I should be OK. I will have to make my escape quick so that if the farmer notices any noise coming out of the stables or just to go bring me to the police, I will already be gone. I will write again when I will be far enough, from the farm.

My escape went well. King decided to follow me. I had told him no, because with the farmer he gets food every day. But when I woke up the next day he was there lying next to me.
So every night it is warmer. And I liked him he his a good companion.

The farmer's plan

I am working hard every day. So that the farmer will keep him imprisoned for as long a he could. And when he could no longer hide the fact that spring was here. And there is no more snow to help him guard me. He would call the police. At that could be the end.
So I am cutting through the wall. But the farmer will notice the very first night. So I will write down my prayer down first. Actually I do not have time. The farmer id bound to get me any second. I will pray and then then write down, what I prayed for.

I asked the God of the green pastures and the still waters, what I have done wrong. That I have saved Maria from the fire, so I could thank him. And that he must know that the farmer and his family are evil. And that I know he got Sophie to paint me so that I could discover my parents and my past.
I told him that he is cruel like the farmer, and like Carlo, and all that belongs to them. And that I think he will never help me because he is tired of me.

I am now also frightened because I think God will grow terribly angry at me. And that maybe he takes hostages just like ''Them''. He he is cruel. I waited patiently all winter. Without a single word. And he let the farmer bar the door.

I am grateful for King, because last night the farmer grew terribly mad at me and King went up to him and growled at him. He saved me from the farmer. I will continue each night to make a hole big enough in the wall so when the time comes I can escape.  

The dog

They think they are letting me suffer leaving me in the sable and hitting my but it is actually do my advantage. I could of died tramping the road, here at least I have got shelter. Sometimes in the stable it would get cold and sometimes some snow would drift in but all the animals added some warmth to it.
And it is dark, but I am not afraid of the dark. The only thing I am afraid of is people. And at night time the stable is mine and I like being alone to think, and to be left alone in peace. In the camp you were never left alone.

The dog shares the stables with me. I always thought of dogs a enemies. But I have learned that some people keep dog as pet so some can be nice. And this particular dog is nice to and the farmer and his family treat him as good as me. This dog is big and black. At night he would come and sleep with me. He is warm. And sometimes I would pet him. The dog had a name from what I heard the farmer call him. His name was king.
The farmer rarely struck it because it is a good sheep-dog. And in the summer when the animals were out to graze, the farmer could not live with out him. And when King saw me he would wag his tail.

Today I got up and it felt warm. In the wall there was a crack and a ray of sunlight went across. This is a good sin, that spring is on its way. And I will finally be able to leave.

The Farmer

I am stuck in the icy cold weather. Sophie had to leave for Rome, and she sad I could return to her when she had returned. The cold is so intense I can barely feel my hands. I think if a had told Sophie about were and I came from she would of understood. But now I have to got to Denmark. And I think I now how '' The Man'' felt about me. But he made sure Johannes was there to help me. But he made sure he had a part in it, on account for my mother. I don't how I will find her. But I must first go to Denmark.....with out freezing to death. And I think when Johannes died and there wasn't anything left for me. And ''The Man'' was about to go he had to let me escape. For he had a big impact on my life. And to think I suffered all these years because of him. I will cease to write for my hands are quite cold. I will wright again once I find warmth.

Its been about three or four week since I wrote anything. I am now working at a farm. Here is how it happened: I was in the snow. And freezing to death. The farmer, said I could stay, with him for food and warmth. But I would have to work for him. I agreed since it was either that or I die. So here I am, its night time a am very fatigued. The farmer is evil... I escaped the cold snow and wind only to be a prisoner. I sleep in his stable. On a little hill of hay for the horses. And all day long I work for him as a slave, and if it is possible he makes me work harder. And he would give me as much food has in the camp, but just a bit more. The farmer is exactly like ''Them''.
He uses threats to make sure I won't refuse and to make me work as hard as I can. He would say: '' Go to work boy you're as lazy as a...(I am not sure what it means) if you don't I might as well call the police. Now they can but put you to work real good.'' At The Children's house, I learned how members of a family spoke to each other. They were all smiling and polite. But its not like that here. The farmer is cold and brutal to even to his wife and children.
But I was not very sorry for them. His wife was, his wife was clumsy and silent, she had a sharp edge to her tongue. And the children, were learning from the farmer. They aren't any nicer to me or there mother. They are even more evil than Carlo. The farmer has two kids.
The youngest one, looks like his father, he had straw colored hair, and pale blue eyes. He was very cruel to the animals. But he knew, he would get a hitting from his father if he were caught. Its not like the farmer had anything against cruelty, but its just that the animals were worth money. His favorite game was to cause pain to a living creature. Johannes once told me that '' Violence and cruelty were just a stupid person's way of making himself felt, because it is easier to use your hand, to strike a blow than to use your brain to find a logical, and just solution to a problem. And the girl and the girl was not much better she was not cruel to the animals but she was not kind. I am shocked that she and Maria are about the same age. And I can not stand the difference.   The winter is so long I will write when something good happens to me. But right now they treat be like a dog. They also have a dog he scares me. But that is because I am afraid he will bite me like the ones in the camp. The guards would make them bite us.

dimanche 7 novembre 2010

My life Story

I can't believe this! everything makes sense now. I finally know my life story when i went down stairs. Sophie said I could go read her books. I found a book with plenty of photographs in it. I saw Sophie in a lot of them. And just as she came in to check on me. I turned the page I asked her  who was in the photograph.
She said her name was Edith Hjorth Fengel. I asked here if she could tell me more about her. She asked me why. And I said that she looks as if she'd known a great deal, and yet she is smiling. And she told me thats she hopes I am not old enough to understand it. And then she told me.......

'' She lived abroad with her husband in a country where...the political situation made it necessary to be very careful. And her husband wasn't.... One night the police arrested them, all three of them, her husband, herself and the little boy who was only then a year old, he was the one who was called David just like you, and whom I never saw......They killed her husband and the child, and Edith because one  of her guards knew her and was in love with her. He got papers for her, and smuggled her across the frontier and now she lives at home in Denmark and is as....well, as well as you can be when you've once been trough a great unhappiness. All suffering as an end, David if only you wait long enough, try to remember that. Sorrow has its life just like people. Sorrow is born and lives and dies. And when its dead and gone, someone left behind to remember it. Exactly like people.''

So I am guessing that Edith is my mom, and ''The Man'' is the guard who saved my mother. So maybe that is why he let me go and told me to go to Denmark. Yes....that has to be it.

Sophie Bang

I have been walking for quite a while And I am now at a lake. It is very beautiful. The next town I should go to next would be... Lugano. I will buy some bread there, and maybe some cheese.

I can not reach Lugano. Because the road lays between a mountain, and the edge of a lake. And that is were I am now.

I found an orange tree, it is up a small hill. I found one laying on the ground.

I am about to sit still. For a while. Because a middle age women came and she wanted to paint me. Right now she is setting up her easel. I have got to go sit still now.

I am at the lady's house now we has super. And she said I set the table so beautifully. I also wanted to know if there was a king in Denmark, but I ended up guessing that she was Danish. And that her name is Sophie Bang. It Sophie my name was David. She told me that you rarely hear that name outside Britain. I tough it was a British name but she told me it was a name from the bible like most names. And that its found in many places but she knew one person with that name, but she never saw him. Then she told me that his story is a very sad one. So we spoke about other thing she showed me a magazine with a photograph on it she told me it was the queen of Denmark. The king was wearing a uniform with epaulets on his shoulders, and many orders on his chest,and the queen was dressed in a long sleeveless gown, on her head she wore, kind of like a shiny gold and red hat. It looks like a piece of jewelery.

Right now I am laying on my bed, Sophie told me that I could stay over night. That is all I am tired.

And I can not help but think of what Sophie said about me. It is morning now and a while ago,  I went down stairs and I heard her talking with someone. And I forgot to say that I told her already I was from the circus. But this is what they said:
I heard a man talking with her, and he wanted her to go sailing with her. And they were speaking French! She told him she could not because she had a visitor. She told him that I belonged to a circus. She told him that she thinks someone has broken my spirit. The man told her that a boy's spirit was not easily broken. The man said that she should do something about it. But she did not know how to repair a broken heart. She also said that she has no right to interfere. She thought that maybe they could give me money so that I can go to the circus by train and not by feet. But they don't have any money to spare. And it turns out that the man's name is Pierre.

OK, Pierre is finally gone and I can go down stairs. I will write what happens later.

The Frontier

I just woke up. The sun must have been up a long time ago because I feel warm. I must walk on now. Walkings better them to sit there and wait.

....I hate it. The barrier for the next village is right there. And there was the police examining people passport. No one seems to be afraid, because THEY all HAD there passports in order. I really don't like the looks of it if I am arrested. They will send me back to the camp.
So I will make my way out of the village again and along a narrow road, and I will turn northwards, away from the road. After an hour so I won't be able to see the frontier.
I had heard this technique in the concentration camp. So if you ever don't have a passport that was the way to cross it. Some people got caught. But it was only by chance. That is what I will do.

It worked! I am now in a village called Mendrisio. I was now in Switzerland. They speak Italian in Switzerland. I know this because I saw a billboard that said '' Svizzera'' witch meant Switzerland in Italian.
Thats all for now.

The letter in the news paper

I am already past Bologna, well...almost. I am in the countryside right now. Its not very beautiful, actually it is just less nice than Bologna itself. The landscape is flat and the road is gray and very dusty. There is a lot of traffic on the main road. And I am running out of time it is getting colder. And now I only stop when I am out of breath or I need to buy some bread.
And I have now spent all the money I had gotten from the Americans. And it is only in towns I could earn money. And I am now i danger of starvation. I will go and beg a lorry. So I can get to Millan faster. There is no time to lose.

The lorry driver put me down at the station. I just earned a lot of money. Because A LOT of  people needed help with their baggages. And their were tourist who could not speak Italian. I earned enough money to buy bread for seven days.
There is also a new paper. I will read it for practice.

Wow... in the new paper there is my name. I it surely for me here it is. It said:
    '' David do not be afraid we are not searching for you. We we should be glad if you come back to live with us. We believe everything you said. The children's parents.''
See it is addressed to me. There is no doubt about it. I feel happy.

I can't sleep. I am sleeping in a ditch. It is REALLY cold. I will not beg a ride. Because people think it is odd for a boy to beg a lift at that time. I am already out of Millan. And that is why the only place to sleep was in a ditch. I am still glad they had written to me... except for Carlo.
I will pray:
''God...God of the green pastures and the still water. I am not praying for help, because I am David, and thats something that can't be altered. But I want you to know that the green pastures and the still waters is not enough to live by, and nor is freedom. Not when you know there's love and you haven't got anyone you belong to, because you're different and are only a boy who's run away. I'm saying this to tell you, you didn't help me anymore to escape from them. It doesen't matter. Thank you for the times you helped me when I still thought life might be a little worth living. I am David Amen.''

The Church

I am stopping for a minute to write in here.
Most of the way is familiar to me because me and the children often went on this road and often played around here. Andrea's clothes are very use full and I have two outfits. The darkness does not trouble me. Because I as I said I am now familiar with these parts. Also I keep my shoes on only at night. Because in the day I can see were all the rocks and things are, but at night it is hard to see. It is also getting colder every night. That is why I keep them on. I will have to stop at a Town called Florence because I do not have any food and I am growing hungry. I still have a lot of money from the American's.
I must also keep in mind the countries that Maria and Andrea showed me. I must first go to, Switzerland, and then to, Germany, and finally Denmark.

I just left Florence. Its been a few days since that last entry. There were many beautiful things in Florence. There are roads with bridges over them, status, and a church...
I think a lot about the parents and my letter.But most of all Maria.
I will beg a lift the next day to get a ride to Bologna.

There is a church not to far heads. I will go and see it.

I am in the church... Its is so...wonderful and peaceful.There are glass windows with paintings on them. And there is a man kneeling at one of theme he is dressed in black and he is saying something softly. I think its Latin. I don't know Latin, except for a few words. I will write in it later.

It turns out that the man was a priest. We had one at the camp. But they were not one of them. And tanks to him I have accomplished two thing. I now remember that verse that Johannes used to say to me. And I got a map. With the border lines of Italy, Switzerland and Denmark.
I will write down in here what the priest said while I can still remember it:
                          ''The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me besides the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his names sake. Ye, through I walk through the valley of  the shadows of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art, with me.'' Thats all for now

samedi 6 novembre 2010

Off I go again ( Must read)

Oh god were shall I go next...
I could not sleep. So I went down stairs and i heard the parents over talking about me. I will never forget what they said!
The mother at first seemed tired of me living with them. The father asked the children's mother id she had anything against me. She was not quite sure. She did not like me as company to her children. And she wanted me gone as soon as possible. The mother didn't like that she didn't know were I came from, were I am going to. She think I am not telling the truth. She does not believe my story about the circus. And she called me a hardened little liar! She also said that my eyes frighten her, she said they were eyes of an old man's. An old man who has so a lot and that no longer cares to go on living. She said my eyes are not even desperate. And as if I was alone and I wanted to be. And then she said a child's eyes are not supposed to look like that. But she said my smile is incredible. But I look like i never smiled before. And that I could only smile when I see Maria. Then her husband said that he has seen it. And that it comes hesitantly and yet tenderly.
She said that you can tell that I have no relatives, and that I don't like to be questioned. And then she called me strange. She also said that I speak like a Florentine nobleman! And French like a senior member of the French Acadamie. ( I don't recall Giovanni catching me speaking French. It must of been when I was reading that French book.). They said I was gifted and a well-educated native too! And now they think their was man in the circus who speaks French. They said that at first they had imagined that I had runed away from school( even if I had the chance to be in school I would never run away from a such wonderful place!).
They said that I don't speak like a child, and that I make people think I have never spoke to a child before(which again that is true).
The father said that they are still deeply indebted to me. He said that I talk beautifully and that I had charming manners.
Then they talked along while about how I was acting with Carlo. It was the mother who did not like that way I talked to him and made him feel left out.
Then they talked about me and Maria and how she seems to worship me and the ground I walk on. And how she liked to be alone with me. And then how I liked music like a sucking pig( I don't even know what that means!).
The mother did not like that I tough Maria survival, and that she should not know about evil.
After a while the agreed that they could not stop me from being me. And that they will try to question me. And then call the POLICE! And then send me to a home or a Monastery, and pay for my education. And I will have to tell them the truth.

That is why I am leaving this very night. I will practice making the letter for the parents when they will find out I was gone.
Here goes:
 '' I have heard everything yu sad  you said. I shall go nowe now, as soon as I am done writing this. I only wanted to stay as long as you wiched wished me to. I shall have to keep Andrea's Clth clothes because you have not given me back my ouwn own. I want to tank you for letting me listen to music and reading books, and because everything is so beautiful here. And thank you for the food you have given me and for letting me sleep in a bed. I have never murdered anyone, and never used force, nor stolenne stolen from anybody. I've taken no one's joy or happiness, or freedom, or property away from him. And I have never betrayed anyone. I am telling you this becvause because I want you to know something, about me and let you know that that's all I am going to gtgeell tell. If the police catches me I will shall die, but i will tell you no more. It is important not to give in to people who love violence and they think they have the right to take away another man's life and liberaty liberty. And if you don't let them change what you think and believe, then you have wno won. A man once told me that. And that is why I shall go on being David, for as long as I am still alibve alive. I am glad I told Maria that evil exists. I don't want her to be afraid but its something you have to know about. Can't you understand that children have the right to know everything that is true? If there's danger you have to recognize it, or else you can't take care of yourself.I am writing to say tanks for all of the things you have given me, and to tell you of my own free will that I'm going to tell, ever.


Well I am finally out of the house just as I put the letter down. Maria came into my room. Because she thought she heard me moving in my bed. She was sad when I told her I must leave. She gave me a cross. It is wooden. And she showed me quietly a song on the piano. That she wrote for me. It is so beautiful she said she was going to show me tomorrow but since I am leaving now. She showed me, right before I left. Here it is

I feel sad going now. But its something I must do. I can't believe Maria wrote a song for me.

Milk and Vitamins

I old thought entered my head this evening I thought of what if the man was actually nice. I mean he forced me to drink milk which was good for me and I did not menshion that he made me take vitamins just like here so maybe he cared for me better than the other men. He told me if I did not drink it he would shot a prisoner. He also threatened to shoot a prisoner if he told anybody were he went and what he did. He never shoot anybody because every time I would drink the milk twice a week on Tuesday and Fridays. I always obeyed because I thought it showed how stupid and evil he was.
And why did he let me escape. Maybe I was a hostage. Important hostages would have to be kept alive. But he must not be allowed to escape..Would he? If only I knew more about it. If only I knew more about Denmark. If there were a King in Denmark,I must try to get there. And most importantly I have to know the reason I was let escape. Maybe The Man had been bribed. Bribe means doing something that you knew was wrong, just to get something for yourself.
But who would bribe The man? I am just a prisoner who would want me to escape. Perhaps if the bribe was big enough, they would be hunting for me! Who would want me to escape? What will I do?

The globe

I think I should have invented a different story for myself when people ask were are you from. Because I don't think my story from the circus worked. When I told people they did not seem to believe me very much. And cause of that the children's parents thought i was familiar with countries. So now I can not ask them about it.

It is getting colder outside and it is now time to harvest. I will have to be on my way soon.
Today Andrea and Maria showed me what is called a globe. It is round and it has a drawing of the hole world on it! And their were names of countries. He showed me were Italy was, and Spain and Germaine, Austria,Switzerland and England.
They showed me Denmark! But it it so far that I will never get there befog winter. So I must absolutely go tomorrow, or the next day. The house belongs to the family and I have no part in it. And something is bound to happen soon to make them realize how different he was. And the children's mother is not has warm has she was when i first came. And every time I see the children and their parents hugging and talking and laughing together. It hurts me, and then I remember Johannes. Perhaps I was normal when Johannes was alive and that I became different when he died. It does not really bother me when Maria hold my hand, her had is not like a boy's its soft and delicate. And when we hold hands we always speak of nice things.
I old thought entered my head this evening I thought of what if the man was actually nice. I mean he forced me to drink milk which was good for me and I did not menshion that he made me take vitamins just like here so maybe he cared for me better than the other men. He told me if I did not drink it he would shot a prisoner. He also threatened to shoot a prisoner if he told anybody were he went and what he did. He never shoot anybody because every time I would drink the milk twice a week on Tuesday and Fridays. I always obeyed because I thought it showed how stupid and evil he was.

vendredi 5 novembre 2010


 The two little boys are OK. There better then Carlo. They are not evil. They look like two little animals, tumbling together. It made me think of this song that Maria played so beautifully on a piano, she told me its called Married Life ( ).Maria plays a lot of songs on the piano. I love the piano. I think it make the most wonderful music. I can listen to it all day...

They ( The two little boys) are so little sized that I am not sure if I have ever been so small. What I really like about both of them is that they are normal. ordinary boys. They are what I will never be...
Andrea, is friendly and fair, and when I pointed out something beautiful he was always there to see it. Also he never ruins thing like the way Carlo did. It is hard not to be to friendly with him because it is easy to let your guard down when he is with you. I might forget to be careful and Andrea will think I me odd and begin to ask question. And then they might discover were I come from.

I only feel good around Maria. I never feel ignorant around her because. She's the one that asks the question about me( Well not really personal questions ) and she would want to know everything about everything. She never thought me odd. I would always help her, because she is not very strong.

Maria looks so pretty, and everything about her is gentle and delicate. When I am around her I feel that it is my duty to take care of her. And when ever I wanted to listen to music she would put on the gramophone. And she would tell me about school, and I would tell her about things that she should know about, like survival, evil, thing that I know about.

School sounds wonderful, a place were you can learn. And to think there are who works to tech children, the thing they did not know! To be able to ask about every thing you did not know, with out appearing odd or suspicious.

The diffrence bettween Carlo and ''Them''

There is one thing that I find confusing about a family. I had said before that no one should have rights over other people. But Maria just told me that their parents have rights over them. Well they said its more of a duty, because, they must care for you. Like give you food and clothes, and teach you things that you don't know. So that one day when you won't have them any more, you can manage for yourselves.(When your grown up.)
Kind of what like Johannes did and was to me...
But having  right over other people is using force. Its shameful.
I must talk about Carlo. This last few days he has been trying to wheedle himself, into my books. I think he's trying to warm up to me. He has been trying real hard to convince me, that he was good. I don't like Carlo for one thing he is good at deception. Good thing the guards in the camp would do that often. Because I know how to deal with it. I speak to Carlo only when i have to. But i will always do it politely. Just like I did with ''Them''.
Carlo is JUST like ''them'' he is stupid. I don't mean the kind of stupid the children are like. But stupid as the guards in the camp. He already know that I will not let myself be impressed by him and he also knows that I will expect anymore of him. The thing that make me uncomfortable around Carlo is the he is so good at deception that Maria and the two little boys did not know that Carlo is evil, and so did their parents. They just think he is an ordinary boy. And that is why I am uncomfortable in his presence...

lundi 1 novembre 2010


I feel so much better. The doctor had been right. My hands are still rather painful. But I am guessing they will heal with time.
I still can't believe I am sleeping in a bed. It is wonderfully soft. It feels like it is gently rocking me. For the people who have never slept on one ( thats the hole reason why I am writing this journal so people know what I have gone throw, so they know how lucky they are. Maybe it will turn into a documentary!) it is kind of like a big box out of polished wood, with pillows and sheets.
I need to pray but I need to write it down:
" God of the green pastures and still waters, I want to thank you because I've learned about happiness and I found out how to smile. And thank you to for being pleased I rescued the girl for you. I hope I can find something  different to do for you next time, because that was very difficult and I was very frightened of fire, I  would rather not do anything like that to often. Will you please let it do for the next three time I may need you to help me. I am David Amen"

I wonder if I should go down stairs or wait tell the children's mother comes.

Its after breakfast now, I ran up to my bedroom, and I started writing this. The children's mother came before I wondered down stairs she gave me one of Andrea's outfits. She said its the least they could do since I saved Maria. She also said that she put my old clothing in the laundry. These new clothes are so much comfortable. My feet feel better. Inside the wardrobe was a big mirror and I got to see my self from head to tow. My new outfit included, trousers, they are short and brown, a shirt not like my own, but a proper shirt with buttons, "Its colors is green. There are stalkings too. They felt good also because I have never put anything on my feet not that I did not want to its just that I have not had any in the camp. I look like a normal boy now. And when I went down to eat their were silvers appliances. Their were also painting, their was a chest, and on the windows there were curtains. I really like the word Silver.

Also, I had to drink milk. So did the children. It tasted really good. I had, had milk in the camp before but it tasted awful. the man always made us drink it. It tasted sour and bitter it was just awful. The children wanted me to play with me and the parents warned them to be careful with my burns. They are getting better.

Living in a house is very difficult. People are always asking me to do thing. And the thing that what seems completed natural to me, is awkward for them. But living in a house was still wonderful. I have been in the house for seven day now.

I like it. I learn each day of thing I would have not learned trying to get to Denmark.

I learned 3 words for things that are beautiful. If it is only a bit beautiful it was ''Nice'' if it were more beautiful it is ''Lovely'' and Finally ''Beautiful''. I think I have to learn still how to use them properly because the children's mother laugh when I said the bathroom was lovely and the children's mother had laugh. But I will never forgets its shiny pale-green. I still don't get why she laugh. A bathroom is wonderful. Normally I would have to find a small pond or lake to clean myself . And it is very COLD! But here I get as much hot water as I want. You JUST have to turn on the tap. And most importantly there is soap, big cakes of it. It rubs in to you're skin more softly then the ones I bought. After your done cleaning your self you dry your self off with a soft towel. They also have other appliances to clean your self with. One of them is a long stick with little straw like plastic pieces. That you clean your teeth with. The first time I tried it my mouth felt WONDERFUL! It was so fresh and clean.

When I had asked Giovanni if there were any books in the house. He showed my many. I took a book published before 1917. So I could be sure it was something real and NOT made up. I spent a lot of time reading but the children for some reason always wanted me to play with them.

I do not understand them...

They do not like to clean themselfs....Well at least only the boys. I do not get it. Cleaning yourself when you want to and with hot water is a privavlige. In the camp they just threw a bucket of cold water over our heads and they would say we were clean enough. Its not that I have anything against being dirty. I mean you get dirty throw the course of the day. They also could not understand, why I always wanted to read books and not play. There is SO many things you can learn from books if you had enough time.They don't care if they know nothing. Its like they think there is no diffrence bettween a donkey and a human being. I am still fond of donkeys they are.. Nice. But i still think I or anybody else would prefer to be a human then a donkeys. My reason is because if you were a donkey you would not be able to learn. And thanks to reading more often i can read quicker. Well....not really quick. Its going to take some time. I really have got a tons of things I don't understrand about them (well children). Like whey don't regard graciouse occasions. They eat like pigs eavan when there is a nice white table cloth,and silver forks and knives, and nice plates for every body.

They can evan by very dangerouse. Because you can never follow what they are thinking about. They ALWAYS want to play. I know how to play a little now to. Like how to play ball. I found out that a ball is round and easy to hold and it has bring and fun colours. When you play ball they throw a ball at you and you are expected to catch it and throw it back. Thats how it works. I also know how to race. To play you must be two people or more and there would be a place you must try to get to. And the first one there wins. I also know how to jump over a rope you must be three. Two people turn the rope and you must jump over it so you are in the circle the rope is making...(its hard to explain).

I like any game. As long as it does not involve force or the police. But mostly games that make my body obey me . Some times they would pretend to be other people. But i had to tell them that i would not be a police. I didn't want to say why incase they would think i am strange and start asking me questions. And then they might find out were I come from and be obliged to call for them...

Anyway Maria defended most of the time. So i would not have to do what i did not want to do Because I am David my own master and no one can take that away from me. And that is whyh I would not be the police and take people prisonner. Because no one has the right to take other people prisonner. They all deserve freedom.