Mother!

Last night I cried myself to sleep. The dog followed me and I was never able to take care of it. ''The dog came with me out of its own free will and it died because of it!'' That is what I keep telling myself.

I am in Denmark now. And I must continue what the dog wanted me to do. Get to Denmark and find my mother. And now that I am in Denmark, I must find her.
So I will beg a ride.

I am in a lorry and we have to cross the frontier again. The driver said that he will stow me away inside. He has two boys of his own. And that I had to get to the family I was speaking of, in my ''condition''. And that he could not even bring himself to give him to the officers.

Were in a town called Kolding, and the lorry driver has a friend, who said he can take me to Copenhagen.

I had meet several lorry driver. They didn't ask many questions. I also went on a ship. I lorry driver, bought me a ticket. A ship is way more volley than you think.
Its had a dinning room and the rooms are nice.

I am finally in Copenhagen. And the lorry driver told me that if I could give the address he could drive me directly to my mother. But I didn't have any address so I told him that it was in my bundle, i the back of the car. Of course I lied because he would grow suspicious. It has been many days since the dog died. And if I do not reach my mother then the dog had died for nothing.

I just found an address book. I looked. It took me a long time before I found people called Hjorth Fenfel. There were six of them. But only one with an E in front of her name. Her address was Strandvejen 758.

There are many lorry's that could understand English. Once I found a lorry who could I told her the address. She told me it was far.

I an finally here at 758 Strandvejen. Its been a long time since I am looking at it. Everything smells nice.

I am now in the house. This is how it went. I kept staring at it. And then a women came out. I just had to say. '' Madame mon nom est David... And she said'' David... mon fils...

And from now on I hope we will live happily ever after.

Unexpected sacrifice

I am now in a city called Basle. I just noticed not Basle is partly in France. that is were Johannes used to live. He lived in a city called Alsace. I want to go as fast as possible but I must stop to look at it.

Its been two days since I wrote anything. I just found out that to get to France. I would have to cross a great river, and the frontier runs along it through the town. There also was a road-barrier and the soldiers and passports were to be inspected. So I will no go to Alsace. So I will now go beg a lift from a swiss.

There is another barrier, to go to Germany. So I will use the same technique.

I soon as I got off on the other side of the barrier, I went into the town and started walking. A car pulled up and stopped. I stopped also. King, I think sensed my fear and started growling at the man. The man started talking to me. he called me  a vagabond ( which means tramp in French). He said that I slipped across the frontier, pretty nimbly. He asked me were I was going, I replied that I was going to Brunswick. Then he said that he is not going as far as that but that he will give me a lift to Frankfurt, if King can behave.
Its is hard to write in the car. It is very bumpy. So i will write some more when we get to Frankfurt.

The swiss was called Graf, and I had to fall upon the story of the circus. I told him I had been taken ill in Naples. It felt so wrong to lie to someone who seemed so kind and gentle. But I had to if I didn't want to go back to the camp. He told me that German money is called marks. He said that he thought I was not a rascal. And he asked me if I ran away from my parents. I said no and he believed me. But he did not believe my story of the circus.
And when we finally got to Frankfurt, he stood watching in tell I reached the corner of the street.

I have noticed that people are nervous when they first see King. Because he is big and looks like he will bite. But when they saw how he obeyed me so well, and how nice he was. They called him a ''Sheep in a wolfs clothing.''.
I always spoke to him quietly and politely to him. People did not understand why, I would speak this way to a dog. But King had chosen to go with me. And he should remain a free.
He is clever to. I hear people say that dogs are as smart as a human being. But I think that a dog id a dog, and a human is a human. You can not be as clever as something different.
But I must not rely to much on King's protection. Dogs could bite. But they can not get the better of them.

I don't know how long I had been walking, but I saw....''Them''. I am laying still be hide a bush. King is being quiet. I have to get passed them. I don't know what to do. I will write what happens later.

.........King......is...gone, for good. I had thought that my life would end there. Shot by a riffle. And so I prayed. I remember exactly what I said:
''  God....God of the green pastures and the still waters. I've one promise and help left, but its to late now. You can't do anything about this. I don't mean to be rude, because I know you're very strong, and you can make those men down there, want to walk away for a bit. but they won't. They don't know you see, and there not afraid of you. But they are afraid of the commandant because he'll have them shot if they leave their posts. So you can see that their nothing you can do now. but please don't think I'm blaming you. It was my own fault for not seeing the danger in time. I shall run....Perhaps you'll see they aim straight, so it doesn't hurt before I die. I am so frightened of things that hurt. NO, I forgot. I've only one promise of help left, and it's more important you help the dog get away and find some good people to live with. Perhaps they'll shoot straight anyway, but if they don't it can't be helped:  you must save the dog because it once tried to protect me. Thank you for having been my God: I'm glad I chose you. And now I must run, for if I leave it any longer I shan't have the courage to die.
I am David Amen.''

King kept whimpering he wanted to go back the way he came from. I told him, that its to late. I told him to sit still and that when they shoot me that he can get away by himself. King kept licking my face, and wiggling like it wanted to get up.
And then he jumped out of cover...Before I could stop him.
As soon as he went I understood what he wanted to do. He wanted to take my place!
He barked loudly sprinting towards them. He wanted me to run! And so I did as fast as I could as soon as I was out of breath I stopped. Then I heard a gun shot and a loud and strange noise from the dog....He died.
He scarified himself for...me. He shouldn't have done it!

A letter to Carlo

I am sitting at the Chery-Blossom tree. And thinking of Maria made me think of Carlo. I am thinking that Carlo, is perhaps not evil...but maybe just stupid. And also it made me think of the news paper, I saw in Milan. And that maybe I should write back. I still remember their address. So I went into town and bought a stamp, a letter and some paper. I will write a letter to Carlo saying that I no longer think he is evil, but I have to practice here before I actually write down anything on the nice paper.

'' To Carlo,
 Carlo, I want you to know I'm no longer so sure you're bad. Perhaps you're only stupid. And so I'll stop hating you, because I only hate those who are evil. But if you ever use force again, and I get to know about it, then I shall hate you again. Will you thank you're parents for writing the letter in the paper. I saw it. And will you say I've written to you. Tell you're parents and Andrea and the two little ones and Maria. Tell Maria first, that I've seen a tree full of bloom, thats made me think of her.

                                                                                                       David''

I wrote Carlo on the envelope and then the children's father's full name.. And then that the house lays in Italy. It took me some time to find a letter-box. but after a while I finally found one.

Today I earned money at the station in Lucerne. I had to spend more now that I had to feed the dog. In the last few days, I enjoyed walking with the dog. So I dog not need to beg a lift.

The Chery-Blossom

Spring is very beautiful. I still have some money left from Milan. And I had not spent it all. Because the farmer took me in. And I went in a bank so I could exchange the money for some money that I could use in Switzerland. I was afraid to go at first but I had to because I needed bread and King was not used to being so hungry.  But I still managed to earn money, that I could use. I will write again after a few days.

I am now in the country, it is very beautiful. There are great big mountains, and there peaks are beautiful to look at. But I found something more beautiful of all. On top of a small hill there was a tree with pink flowers. I think it is called a Chery-Blossom. It reminds me of Maria. It made me smile. I had not smiled in a long time.
The Chery-Blossoms flowers are so delicate... just like Maria.

My escape

So far the farmer did not notice anything. Because I put a bucket in front of the hole, so that the farmer won't be able to see it. But I am growing sleepy during the day. And I think the farmer is beginning to notice, why I don't put as much effort into my work. The hole is still not big enough for me. It will take a few more weeks perhaps.

I will write again when it is finally time to escape.

It is not time to escape but I have got something really important to write. The dog protected me again once more, and this time as I was listening to the farmer. He told his wife, that I would have to be handed in to the police right away because I have gotten hold of the dog.
That means I have to get away tonight.

Finally the hole is big enough for me to crawl out. I will have to use a broom stick. Because There is still some snow outside beside the stable. I should be OK. I will have to make my escape quick so that if the farmer notices any noise coming out of the stables or just to go bring me to the police, I will already be gone. I will write again when I will be far enough, from the farm.

My escape went well. King decided to follow me. I had told him no, because with the farmer he gets food every day. But when I woke up the next day he was there lying next to me.
So every night it is warmer. And I liked him he his a good companion.

The farmer's plan

I am working hard every day. So that the farmer will keep him imprisoned for as long a he could. And when he could no longer hide the fact that spring was here. And there is no more snow to help him guard me. He would call the police. At that could be the end.
So I am cutting through the wall. But the farmer will notice the very first night. So I will write down my prayer down first. Actually I do not have time. The farmer id bound to get me any second. I will pray and then then write down, what I prayed for.

I asked the God of the green pastures and the still waters, what I have done wrong. That I have saved Maria from the fire, so I could thank him. And that he must know that the farmer and his family are evil. And that I know he got Sophie to paint me so that I could discover my parents and my past.
I told him that he is cruel like the farmer, and like Carlo, and all that belongs to them. And that I think he will never help me because he is tired of me.

I am now also frightened because I think God will grow terribly angry at me. And that maybe he takes hostages just like ''Them''. He he is cruel. I waited patiently all winter. Without a single word. And he let the farmer bar the door.

I am grateful for King, because last night the farmer grew terribly mad at me and King went up to him and growled at him. He saved me from the farmer. I will continue each night to make a hole big enough in the wall so when the time comes I can escape.  

The dog

They think they are letting me suffer leaving me in the sable and hitting my but it is actually do my advantage. I could of died tramping the road, here at least I have got shelter. Sometimes in the stable it would get cold and sometimes some snow would drift in but all the animals added some warmth to it.
And it is dark, but I am not afraid of the dark. The only thing I am afraid of is people. And at night time the stable is mine and I like being alone to think, and to be left alone in peace. In the camp you were never left alone.

The dog shares the stables with me. I always thought of dogs a enemies. But I have learned that some people keep dog as pet so some can be nice. And this particular dog is nice to and the farmer and his family treat him as good as me. This dog is big and black. At night he would come and sleep with me. He is warm. And sometimes I would pet him. The dog had a name from what I heard the farmer call him. His name was king.
The farmer rarely struck it because it is a good sheep-dog. And in the summer when the animals were out to graze, the farmer could not live with out him. And when King saw me he would wag his tail.

Today I got up and it felt warm. In the wall there was a crack and a ray of sunlight went across. This is a good sin, that spring is on its way. And I will finally be able to leave.

The Farmer

I am stuck in the icy cold weather. Sophie had to leave for Rome, and she sad I could return to her when she had returned. The cold is so intense I can barely feel my hands. I think if a had told Sophie about were and I came from she would of understood. But now I have to got to Denmark. And I think I now how '' The Man'' felt about me. But he made sure Johannes was there to help me. But he made sure he had a part in it, on account for my mother. I don't how I will find her. But I must first go to Denmark.....with out freezing to death. And I think when Johannes died and there wasn't anything left for me. And ''The Man'' was about to go he had to let me escape. For he had a big impact on my life. And to think I suffered all these years because of him. I will cease to write for my hands are quite cold. I will wright again once I find warmth.

Its been about three or four week since I wrote anything. I am now working at a farm. Here is how it happened: I was in the snow. And freezing to death. The farmer, said I could stay, with him for food and warmth. But I would have to work for him. I agreed since it was either that or I die. So here I am, its night time a am very fatigued. The farmer is evil... I escaped the cold snow and wind only to be a prisoner. I sleep in his stable. On a little hill of hay for the horses. And all day long I work for him as a slave, and if it is possible he makes me work harder. And he would give me as much food has in the camp, but just a bit more. The farmer is exactly like ''Them''.
He uses threats to make sure I won't refuse and to make me work as hard as I can. He would say: '' Go to work boy you're as lazy as a...(I am not sure what it means) if you don't I might as well call the police. Now they can but put you to work real good.'' At The Children's house, I learned how members of a family spoke to each other. They were all smiling and polite. But its not like that here. The farmer is cold and brutal to even to his wife and children.
But I was not very sorry for them. His wife was, his wife was clumsy and silent, she had a sharp edge to her tongue. And the children, were learning from the farmer. They aren't any nicer to me or there mother. They are even more evil than Carlo. The farmer has two kids.
The youngest one, looks like his father, he had straw colored hair, and pale blue eyes. He was very cruel to the animals. But he knew, he would get a hitting from his father if he were caught. Its not like the farmer had anything against cruelty, but its just that the animals were worth money. His favorite game was to cause pain to a living creature. Johannes once told me that '' Violence and cruelty were just a stupid person's way of making himself felt, because it is easier to use your hand, to strike a blow than to use your brain to find a logical, and just solution to a problem. And the girl and the girl was not much better she was not cruel to the animals but she was not kind. I am shocked that she and Maria are about the same age. And I can not stand the difference.   The winter is so long I will write when something good happens to me. But right now they treat be like a dog. They also have a dog he scares me. But that is because I am afraid he will bite me like the ones in the camp. The guards would make them bite us.

My life Story

I can't believe this! everything makes sense now. I finally know my life story when i went down stairs. Sophie said I could go read her books. I found a book with plenty of photographs in it. I saw Sophie in a lot of them. And just as she came in to check on me. I turned the page I asked her  who was in the photograph.
She said her name was Edith Hjorth Fengel. I asked here if she could tell me more about her. She asked me why. And I said that she looks as if she'd known a great deal, and yet she is smiling. And she told me thats she hopes I am not old enough to understand it. And then she told me.......

'' She lived abroad with her husband in a country where...the political situation made it necessary to be very careful. And her husband wasn't.... One night the police arrested them, all three of them, her husband, herself and the little boy who was only then a year old, he was the one who was called David just like you, and whom I never saw......They killed her husband and the child, and Edith because one  of her guards knew her and was in love with her. He got papers for her, and smuggled her across the frontier and now she lives at home in Denmark and is as....well, as well as you can be when you've once been trough a great unhappiness. All suffering as an end, David if only you wait long enough, try to remember that. Sorrow has its life just like people. Sorrow is born and lives and dies. And when its dead and gone, someone left behind to remember it. Exactly like people.''

So I am guessing that Edith is my mom, and ''The Man'' is the guard who saved my mother. So maybe that is why he let me go and told me to go to Denmark. Yes....that has to be it.

Sophie Bang

I have been walking for quite a while And I am now at a lake. It is very beautiful. The next town I should go to next would be... Lugano. I will buy some bread there, and maybe some cheese.

I can not reach Lugano. Because the road lays between a mountain, and the edge of a lake. And that is were I am now.

I found an orange tree, it is up a small hill. I found one laying on the ground.

I am about to sit still. For a while. Because a middle age women came and she wanted to paint me. Right now she is setting up her easel. I have got to go sit still now.

I am at the lady's house now we has super. And she said I set the table so beautifully. I also wanted to know if there was a king in Denmark, but I ended up guessing that she was Danish. And that her name is Sophie Bang. It Sophie my name was David. She told me that you rarely hear that name outside Britain. I tough it was a British name but she told me it was a name from the bible like most names. And that its found in many places but she knew one person with that name, but she never saw him. Then she told me that his story is a very sad one. So we spoke about other thing she showed me a magazine with a photograph on it she told me it was the queen of Denmark. The king was wearing a uniform with epaulets on his shoulders, and many orders on his chest,and the queen was dressed in a long sleeveless gown, on her head she wore, kind of like a shiny gold and red hat. It looks like a piece of jewelery.

Right now I am laying on my bed, Sophie told me that I could stay over night. That is all I am tired.

And I can not help but think of what Sophie said about me. It is morning now and a while ago,  I went down stairs and I heard her talking with someone. And I forgot to say that I told her already I was from the circus. But this is what they said:
I heard a man talking with her, and he wanted her to go sailing with her. And they were speaking French! She told him she could not because she had a visitor. She told him that I belonged to a circus. She told him that she thinks someone has broken my spirit. The man told her that a boy's spirit was not easily broken. The man said that she should do something about it. But she did not know how to repair a broken heart. She also said that she has no right to interfere. She thought that maybe they could give me money so that I can go to the circus by train and not by feet. But they don't have any money to spare. And it turns out that the man's name is Pierre.

OK, Pierre is finally gone and I can go down stairs. I will write what happens later.

The Frontier

I just woke up. The sun must have been up a long time ago because I feel warm. I must walk on now. Walkings better them to sit there and wait.

....I hate it. The barrier for the next village is right there. And there was the police examining people passport. No one seems to be afraid, because THEY all HAD there passports in order. I really don't like the looks of it if I am arrested. They will send me back to the camp.
So I will make my way out of the village again and along a narrow road, and I will turn northwards, away from the road. After an hour so I won't be able to see the frontier.
I had heard this technique in the concentration camp. So if you ever don't have a passport that was the way to cross it. Some people got caught. But it was only by chance. That is what I will do.

It worked! I am now in a village called Mendrisio. I was now in Switzerland. They speak Italian in Switzerland. I know this because I saw a billboard that said '' Svizzera'' witch meant Switzerland in Italian.
Thats all for now.

The letter in the news paper

I am already past Bologna, well...almost. I am in the countryside right now. Its not very beautiful, actually it is just less nice than Bologna itself. The landscape is flat and the road is gray and very dusty. There is a lot of traffic on the main road. And I am running out of time it is getting colder. And now I only stop when I am out of breath or I need to buy some bread.
And I have now spent all the money I had gotten from the Americans. And it is only in towns I could earn money. And I am now i danger of starvation. I will go and beg a lorry. So I can get to Millan faster. There is no time to lose.

The lorry driver put me down at the station. I just earned a lot of money. Because A LOT of  people needed help with their baggages. And their were tourist who could not speak Italian. I earned enough money to buy bread for seven days.
There is also a new paper. I will read it for practice.

Wow... in the new paper there is my name. I it surely for me here it is. It said:
    '' David do not be afraid we are not searching for you. We we should be glad if you come back to live with us. We believe everything you said. The children's parents.''
See it is addressed to me. There is no doubt about it. I feel happy.

I can't sleep. I am sleeping in a ditch. It is REALLY cold. I will not beg a ride. Because people think it is odd for a boy to beg a lift at that time. I am already out of Millan. And that is why the only place to sleep was in a ditch. I am still glad they had written to me... except for Carlo.
I will pray:
''God...God of the green pastures and the still water. I am not praying for help, because I am David, and thats something that can't be altered. But I want you to know that the green pastures and the still waters is not enough to live by, and nor is freedom. Not when you know there's love and you haven't got anyone you belong to, because you're different and are only a boy who's run away. I'm saying this to tell you, you didn't help me anymore to escape from them. It doesen't matter. Thank you for the times you helped me when I still thought life might be a little worth living. I am David Amen.''

The Church

I am stopping for a minute to write in here.
Most of the way is familiar to me because me and the children often went on this road and often played around here. Andrea's clothes are very use full and I have two outfits. The darkness does not trouble me. Because I as I said I am now familiar with these parts. Also I keep my shoes on only at night. Because in the day I can see were all the rocks and things are, but at night it is hard to see. It is also getting colder every night. That is why I keep them on. I will have to stop at a Town called Florence because I do not have any food and I am growing hungry. I still have a lot of money from the American's.
I must also keep in mind the countries that Maria and Andrea showed me. I must first go to, Switzerland, and then to, Germany, and finally Denmark.

I just left Florence. Its been a few days since that last entry. There were many beautiful things in Florence. There are roads with bridges over them, status, and a church...
I think a lot about the parents and my letter.But most of all Maria.
I will beg a lift the next day to get a ride to Bologna.

There is a church not to far heads. I will go and see it.

I am in the church... Its is so...wonderful and peaceful.There are glass windows with paintings on them. And there is a man kneeling at one of theme he is dressed in black and he is saying something softly. I think its Latin. I don't know Latin, except for a few words. I will write in it later.

It turns out that the man was a priest. We had one at the camp. But they were not one of them. And tanks to him I have accomplished two thing. I now remember that verse that Johannes used to say to me. And I got a map. With the border lines of Italy, Switzerland and Denmark.
I will write down in here what the priest said while I can still remember it:
                          ''The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me besides the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his names sake. Ye, through I walk through the valley of  the shadows of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art, with me.'' Thats all for now

Off I go again ( Must read)

Oh god were shall I go next...
I could not sleep. So I went down stairs and i heard the parents over talking about me. I will never forget what they said!
The mother at first seemed tired of me living with them. The father asked the children's mother id she had anything against me. She was not quite sure. She did not like me as company to her children. And she wanted me gone as soon as possible. The mother didn't like that she didn't know were I came from, were I am going to. She think I am not telling the truth. She does not believe my story about the circus. And she called me a hardened little liar! She also said that my eyes frighten her, she said they were eyes of an old man's. An old man who has so a lot and that no longer cares to go on living. She said my eyes are not even desperate. And as if I was alone and I wanted to be. And then she said a child's eyes are not supposed to look like that. But she said my smile is incredible. But I look like i never smiled before. And that I could only smile when I see Maria. Then her husband said that he has seen it. And that it comes hesitantly and yet tenderly.
She said that you can tell that I have no relatives, and that I don't like to be questioned. And then she called me strange. She also said that I speak like a Florentine nobleman! And French like a senior member of the French Acadamie. ( I don't recall Giovanni catching me speaking French. It must of been when I was reading that French book.). They said I was gifted and a well-educated native too! And now they think their was man in the circus who speaks French. They said that at first they had imagined that I had runed away from school( even if I had the chance to be in school I would never run away from a such wonderful place!).
They said that I don't speak like a child, and that I make people think I have never spoke to a child before(which again that is true).
The father said that they are still deeply indebted to me. He said that I talk beautifully and that I had charming manners.
Then they talked along while about how I was acting with Carlo. It was the mother who did not like that way I talked to him and made him feel left out.
Then they talked about me and Maria and how she seems to worship me and the ground I walk on. And how she liked to be alone with me. And then how I liked music like a sucking pig( I don't even know what that means!).
The mother did not like that I tough Maria survival, and that she should not know about evil.
After a while the agreed that they could not stop me from being me. And that they will try to question me. And then call the POLICE! And then send me to a home or a Monastery, and pay for my education. And I will have to tell them the truth.

That is why I am leaving this very night. I will practice making the letter for the parents when they will find out I was gone.
Here goes:
 '' I have heard everything yu sad  you said. I shall go nowe now, as soon as I am done writing this. I only wanted to stay as long as you wiched wished me to. I shall have to keep Andrea's Clth clothes because you have not given me back my ouwn own. I want to tank you for letting me listen to music and reading books, and because everything is so beautiful here. And thank you for the food you have given me and for letting me sleep in a bed. I have never murdered anyone, and never used force, nor stolenne stolen from anybody. I've taken no one's joy or happiness, or freedom, or property away from him. And I have never betrayed anyone. I am telling you this becvause because I want you to know something, about me and let you know that that's all I am going to gtgeell tell. If the police catches me I will shall die, but i will tell you no more. It is important not to give in to people who love violence and they think they have the right to take away another man's life and liberaty liberty. And if you don't let them change what you think and believe, then you have wno won. A man once told me that. And that is why I shall go on being David, for as long as I am still alibve alive. I am glad I told Maria that evil exists. I don't want her to be afraid but its something you have to know about. Can't you understand that children have the right to know everything that is true? If there's danger you have to recognize it, or else you can't take care of yourself.I am writing to say tanks for all of the things you have given me, and to tell you of my own free will that I'm going to tell, ever.

                                                                                                                                      David

Well I am finally out of the house just as I put the letter down. Maria came into my room. Because she thought she heard me moving in my bed. She was sad when I told her I must leave. She gave me a cross. It is wooden. And she showed me quietly a song on the piano. That she wrote for me. It is so beautiful she said she was going to show me tomorrow but since I am leaving now. She showed me, right before I left. Here it is

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmCiLF0MzsI

I feel sad going now. But its something I must do. I can't believe Maria wrote a song for me.

Milk and Vitamins

I old thought entered my head this evening I thought of what if the man was actually nice. I mean he forced me to drink milk which was good for me and I did not menshion that he made me take vitamins just like here so maybe he cared for me better than the other men. He told me if I did not drink it he would shot a prisoner. He also threatened to shoot a prisoner if he told anybody were he went and what he did. He never shoot anybody because every time I would drink the milk twice a week on Tuesday and Fridays. I always obeyed because I thought it showed how stupid and evil he was.
And why did he let me escape. Maybe I was a hostage. Important hostages would have to be kept alive. But he must not be allowed to escape..Would he? If only I knew more about it. If only I knew more about Denmark. If there were a King in Denmark,I must try to get there. And most importantly I have to know the reason I was let escape. Maybe The Man had been bribed. Bribe means doing something that you knew was wrong, just to get something for yourself.
But who would bribe The man? I am just a prisoner who would want me to escape. Perhaps if the bribe was big enough, they would be hunting for me! Who would want me to escape? What will I do?

The globe

I think I should have invented a different story for myself when people ask were are you from. Because I don't think my story from the circus worked. When I told people they did not seem to believe me very much. And cause of that the children's parents thought i was familiar with countries. So now I can not ask them about it.

It is getting colder outside and it is now time to harvest. I will have to be on my way soon.
Today Andrea and Maria showed me what is called a globe. It is round and it has a drawing of the hole world on it! And their were names of countries. He showed me were Italy was, and Spain and Germaine, Austria,Switzerland and England.

They showed me Denmark! But it it so far that I will never get there befog winter. So I must absolutely go tomorrow, or the next day. The house belongs to the family and I have no part in it. And something is bound to happen soon to make them realize how different he was. And the children's mother is not has warm has she was when i first came. And every time I see the children and their parents hugging and talking and laughing together. It hurts me, and then I remember Johannes. Perhaps I was normal when Johannes was alive and that I became different when he died. It does not really bother me when Maria hold my hand, her had is not like a boy's its soft and delicate. And when we hold hands we always speak of nice things.
I old thought entered my head this evening I thought of what if the man was actually nice. I mean he forced me to drink milk which was good for me and I did not menshion that he made me take vitamins just like here so maybe he cared for me better than the other men. He told me if I did not drink it he would shot a prisoner. He also threatened to shoot a prisoner if he told anybody were he went and what he did. He never shoot anybody because every time I would drink the milk twice a week on Tuesday and Fridays. I always obeyed because I thought it showed how stupid and evil he was.

Maria

 The two little boys are OK. There better then Carlo. They are not evil. They look like two little animals, tumbling together. It made me think of this song that Maria played so beautifully on a piano, she told me its called Married Life ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n4cNryJpq8 ).Maria plays a lot of songs on the piano. I love the piano. I think it make the most wonderful music. I can listen to it all day...


They ( The two little boys) are so little sized that I am not sure if I have ever been so small. What I really like about both of them is that they are normal. ordinary boys. They are what I will never be...
Andrea, is friendly and fair, and when I pointed out something beautiful he was always there to see it. Also he never ruins thing like the way Carlo did. It is hard not to be to friendly with him because it is easy to let your guard down when he is with you. I might forget to be careful and Andrea will think I me odd and begin to ask question. And then they might discover were I come from.

I only feel good around Maria. I never feel ignorant around her because. She's the one that asks the question about me( Well not really personal questions ) and she would want to know everything about everything. She never thought me odd. I would always help her, because she is not very strong.

Maria looks so pretty, and everything about her is gentle and delicate. When I am around her I feel that it is my duty to take care of her. And when ever I wanted to listen to music she would put on the gramophone. And she would tell me about school, and I would tell her about things that she should know about, like survival, evil, thing that I know about.

School sounds wonderful, a place were you can learn. And to think there are who works to tech children, the thing they did not know! To be able to ask about every thing you did not know, with out appearing odd or suspicious.

The diffrence bettween Carlo and ''Them''

There is one thing that I find confusing about a family. I had said before that no one should have rights over other people. But Maria just told me that their parents have rights over them. Well they said its more of a duty, because, they must care for you. Like give you food and clothes, and teach you things that you don't know. So that one day when you won't have them any more, you can manage for yourselves.(When your grown up.)
Kind of what like Johannes did and was to me...
But having  right over other people is using force. Its shameful.
I must talk about Carlo. This last few days he has been trying to wheedle himself, into my books. I think he's trying to warm up to me. He has been trying real hard to convince me, that he was good. I don't like Carlo for one thing he is good at deception. Good thing the guards in the camp would do that often. Because I know how to deal with it. I speak to Carlo only when i have to. But i will always do it politely. Just like I did with ''Them''.
Carlo is JUST like ''them'' he is stupid. I don't mean the kind of stupid the children are like. But stupid as the guards in the camp. He already know that I will not let myself be impressed by him and he also knows that I will expect anymore of him. The thing that make me uncomfortable around Carlo is the he is so good at deception that Maria and the two little boys did not know that Carlo is evil, and so did their parents. They just think he is an ordinary boy. And that is why I am uncomfortable in his presence...

Children?

I feel so much better. The doctor had been right. My hands are still rather painful. But I am guessing they will heal with time.
I still can't believe I am sleeping in a bed. It is wonderfully soft. It feels like it is gently rocking me. For the people who have never slept on one ( thats the hole reason why I am writing this journal so people know what I have gone throw, so they know how lucky they are. Maybe it will turn into a documentary!) it is kind of like a big box out of polished wood, with pillows and sheets.
I need to pray but I need to write it down:
" God of the green pastures and still waters, I want to thank you because I've learned about happiness and I found out how to smile. And thank you to for being pleased I rescued the girl for you. I hope I can find something  different to do for you next time, because that was very difficult and I was very frightened of fire, I  would rather not do anything like that to often. Will you please let it do for the next three time I may need you to help me. I am David Amen"

I wonder if I should go down stairs or wait tell the children's mother comes.

Its after breakfast now, I ran up to my bedroom, and I started writing this. The children's mother came before I wondered down stairs she gave me one of Andrea's outfits. She said its the least they could do since I saved Maria. She also said that she put my old clothing in the laundry. These new clothes are so much comfortable. My feet feel better. Inside the wardrobe was a big mirror and I got to see my self from head to tow. My new outfit included, trousers, they are short and brown, a shirt not like my own, but a proper shirt with buttons, "Its colors is green. There are stalkings too. They felt good also because I have never put anything on my feet not that I did not want to its just that I have not had any in the camp. I look like a normal boy now. And when I went down to eat their were silvers appliances. Their were also painting, their was a chest, and on the windows there were curtains. I really like the word Silver.

Also, I had to drink milk. So did the children. It tasted really good. I had, had milk in the camp before but it tasted awful. the man always made us drink it. It tasted sour and bitter it was just awful. The children wanted me to play with me and the parents warned them to be careful with my burns. They are getting better.

Living in a house is very difficult. People are always asking me to do thing. And the thing that what seems completed natural to me, is awkward for them. But living in a house was still wonderful. I have been in the house for seven day now.




I like it. I learn each day of thing I would have not learned trying to get to Denmark.



I learned 3 words for things that are beautiful. If it is only a bit beautiful it was ''Nice'' if it were more beautiful it is ''Lovely'' and Finally ''Beautiful''. I think I have to learn still how to use them properly because the children's mother laugh when I said the bathroom was lovely and the children's mother had laugh. But I will never forgets its shiny pale-green. I still don't get why she laugh. A bathroom is wonderful. Normally I would have to find a small pond or lake to clean myself . And it is very COLD! But here I get as much hot water as I want. You JUST have to turn on the tap. And most importantly there is soap, big cakes of it. It rubs in to you're skin more softly then the ones I bought. After your done cleaning your self you dry your self off with a soft towel. They also have other appliances to clean your self with. One of them is a long stick with little straw like plastic pieces. That you clean your teeth with. The first time I tried it my mouth felt WONDERFUL! It was so fresh and clean.









When I had asked Giovanni if there were any books in the house. He showed my many. I took a book published before 1917. So I could be sure it was something real and NOT made up. I spent a lot of time reading but the children for some reason always wanted me to play with them.



I do not understand them...

They do not like to clean themselfs....Well at least only the boys. I do not get it. Cleaning yourself when you want to and with hot water is a privavlige. In the camp they just threw a bucket of cold water over our heads and they would say we were clean enough. Its not that I have anything against being dirty. I mean you get dirty throw the course of the day. They also could not understand, why I always wanted to read books and not play. There is SO many things you can learn from books if you had enough time.They don't care if they know nothing. Its like they think there is no diffrence bettween a donkey and a human being. I am still fond of donkeys they are.. Nice. But i still think I or anybody else would prefer to be a human then a donkeys. My reason is because if you were a donkey you would not be able to learn. And thanks to reading more often i can read quicker. Well....not really quick. Its going to take some time. I really have got a tons of things I don't understrand about them (well children). Like whey don't regard graciouse occasions. They eat like pigs eavan when there is a nice white table cloth,and silver forks and knives, and nice plates for every body.



They can evan by very dangerouse. Because you can never follow what they are thinking about. They ALWAYS want to play. I know how to play a little now to. Like how to play ball. I found out that a ball is round and easy to hold and it has bring and fun colours. When you play ball they throw a ball at you and you are expected to catch it and throw it back. Thats how it works. I also know how to race. To play you must be two people or more and there would be a place you must try to get to. And the first one there wins. I also know how to jump over a rope you must be three. Two people turn the rope and you must jump over it so you are in the circle the rope is making...(its hard to explain).



I like any game. As long as it does not involve force or the police. But mostly games that make my body obey me . Some times they would pretend to be other people. But i had to tell them that i would not be a police. I didn't want to say why incase they would think i am strange and start asking me questions. And then they might find out were I come from and be obliged to call for them...



Anyway Maria defended most of the time. So i would not have to do what i did not want to do Because I am David my own master and no one can take that away from me. And that is whyh I would not be the police and take people prisonner. Because no one has the right to take other people prisonner. They all deserve freedom.

The House

We arrived at the big house they asked me to come in. I had always wanted to go into a house but it is not very safe.

With out knowing it I was in it and they close the door behind me. Giovanni had told me that I may go at my own will.
The house was beautiful there were painting, and there was a rug... Well that what they called it. I was allowed to step on it so I would not get the floor dirty. I had told them that i was still black from the fire and that I shall make it dirty but the children laugh so I walked over it. My feet felt comfortable for the first time. I the car I forgot mansion that they gave me a travailing rug I was also scared that I might make it dirty, but they said that its soft and won't irritate burns, so I did what they said but not because they told me because I wanted to.
Anyway the house is full of wonderful things, there are women in black dresses and white aprons who must be maids. I also meet a very beautiful women who turned out to be the children's mother.
I wanted to wash earlier but the said not before the doctor could see me. For I could not but hot water on my burns. I think from what I remember doctors are nice people. They had theme at the camp and they would help people when they were ill. That what Johannes and all the other told me.
When the doctor came, he said I had got of so lightly from my act of heroism. He also said that, I was a little burnt from my hand and harms and legs, but it would not take me long to recover.
The doctor swiped the dirt off and that hurt. Then he but something on my burns and that hurt to. Every thing the doctor did hurt. But he was a good person he was only doing good. He said that I would feel better in the morning. They told me I must go to sleep now. So before I got to bed I used the light from the moon to wright. What happened today.

Carlo apologized but I did not accept. He is evil and used force like the men in the camp.
But I was polite. Johannes always told me that politeness is what you owe to other people, because when you show a little courtesy, everything becomes easier and better. But first and far most its something you owe yourself. You are David. And if you don't allow people to influence what your really like. Then you've something no one can take away from you. Not even they  . He would get mad when I didn't say thank you to even them (the men in the camp) when they gave us our every day tiniest portions. It is about a piece of bread as small as a medium size stone, they also gave us a sip of water. Thats all for today I am really tired.
I can't believe I am sleeping in a actual bed!

The girl how looks like a flower

It is horrible. I went by this big house. There was music playing. It was so...Beautiful. So I hid to listen to it for a while.
All of a sudden this boy jumped at me and started hitting me he said I was a thief. He made my nose bleed and I now have a black eyes. He had noticed after a while I was not fighting back so he asked me why. I simply replied that hitting him back would not make me any better than him. And said you can hit me again, if you can catch me and I ran. He did not run very far he stopped as soon as he heard his name being called and he ran back.
I went to the river right beside his house there was a big rock so nobody could see me. I washed my bloody cloths. I cleaned myself to roughly. I looked back at the house. There were two boys playing with a girl who looked like a flower. I think I heard theme say they were playing a role game from what I had learned there were two Indians who tried to catch the girl and lock her up in the shed. Then they would come back and pretended to save her.
But when my clothes were finally dry. I heard the 2 boys sream. I saw that the shed had been on fire. I took Johannes advise and wet my cloth to cover my face. I went in the shed, I found the girl tied to the chair, her eyes were blinded with a scarf. I untied her quick, I put my wet cloth on her face, and ran out of the shed. My legs were slightly burned. My hands to because when she was finally out of the shed, I saw the her tip of her hair was burning so I pinched it has hard as I could with my 2 hands and extinguished it.
It turns out her name is Maria. She made me smile for the first time.
They invited me to stay with theme I said no but he said that they must at least thank him and that Maria's mother would like to thank me. So the evil boys name is Carlos I apologized but I said nothing to him , because he is very mean. The 2 boys names are Cecha, and the second one Andria, their father had a very long name he was called Giovanni di Levana Del Varchi.

The lorry driver

It seems that god is strong enough because here I am sitting in a lorry's back seat.
He doesn't ask many questions but I had to use my I am off to rejoin the circus.
He talked about he's talking about himself mostly. He has a problem with he's wife though. He is very nice. He is driving me to Perugia.

Americans

I went back to my hiding spot. I watched them. It took a long time before they drove off. After that I went down the slope to find a place to sleep. I am right now thinking about want they said they live in a free country. When i think of a free country I think of police men.
Sometimes I when to town, and practiced reading. About a week ago a lady carrying a big mirror was walking by and dropped it, it was still good to look in, but the lady was frustrated, and left it there. So i went to pick it up.

Every day I was practiced smiling, cause maybe if I smile people will notice me less. I still did not know what was wrong with dark gray eyes. I also prayed to god for a new bar of soap and
During someday I would help out at this shops but they some what didn't need my help anymore.
I had been still laying on the boarder of the road, when an other car drove by and stopped.
An American couple steps out of the car. Americans were most likely good people, for they were the ones most hated. All that was wrong with them is that they spoke English very badly and always acted as if they were proud of possessing so much. But these American had possessed every thing except for petrol. That as why there car could not go any farther.
The women had been talking in a loud angry voice that did not sound at all pleasant, I was actually a lot more nervous then I usually did before asking them if they wanted any help.
When I had finally decided, to go help them at first they were glad I offered them help. I told them specifically that I didn't have the money to buy petrol with. So when I told them what i could do they didn't trust me. They said I would not return with the money. They started yelling at each other. So I took the money and said that they can take my bundle and when I return with a man to fill up there car they can give me my bundle back. The women and the man looked at me ashamed and said I should have something for my troubles I wanted it but I said firmly no and that I like to earn money sometime, but only when i want to. And that I don't need any money today Evan tough that was a lie. I added I am David and i belong to myself, and no one had any right over me.

So with that I left. And when I got back I didn't except the money but surprisingly , when i got back to my sleeping place I discovered that they had put two thousand Lire! There is also a letter, I had a difficult time reading that tough it took me about an hour. It said:

''Not all strange boys are honest you know.
But were sorry we suspected an honest boy.
We did not mean you understand what we said
We would be glad if you would make a use of this money
To show us that you have no hard felling towards us''

There is some more but I can't read it. Anyway with the two thousand lire, I could buy a new cake of soap, and I will be able to buy bread for many days, And maybe a comb to. But it is better to not be greedy Johannes hated people who were greedy. So maybe just the essential a new cake of soap and bread. So i will perhaps buy a cake of soap and no more,

The results were a new cake of soap, bread a comb, a pair of scissors to cut my hair and to treat myself... a bit of cheese.
Today I brushed my hair with the mirror in front of me. It hurt a lot but i got all the knot out, then with the scissors cut my hair they were really long.
There was one more thing more thing I needed to do I have seen a lot of lorry's, and a lot of people using theme but never had the guts to use them.

God of green pastures and still waters, I am David, And I am frightened.... not just ordinary fear that you always have but-worse then that. I want to beg a lift so that i can get quickly to an other country., but I daren't. If your strong enough to do something about what people think and feel inside them self. Then will you please take this fear away, just long enough for me to wave to a lorry? And if it isn't greedy to ask for two thing at once, will you let it be a good man, that comes in the next one? I haven't found anything i can do for you. I am David. Amen.

The man and the women

Bread is my chief problem. There was so much to eat in Italy, that people would leave food lying about without realizing it. Like an Orange or a Tomato. But never bread. And bread you had to have for if you were not to starve.
Right now I am sitting by the road sides. People often did that. So I feel free doing so. After a while  I took precaution of lying flat on my stomach and facing the road. So i could make sure I could quickly duck out of sight if anything came along. I am thinking about how I won't have any bread the next day and for even quite a while and that i might have to ask God for some more. Thats all for now.

The most unexpected thing happed to me just a while ago. A car drove by and it stopped. A man got out of the car and said loudly 'Blast, my spectacles...!' He spoke in English not in Italian. As I watched him groping about in half-light along the edges of the road. I didn't know why but I rose to my feet, and told him 'I'll help you find your spectacles'. As soon as he rose to take a look at me I bent my head so he could not get a good look at my eyes. The man had smiled and said, ' Thank you very much! Its not much good looking for glasses when you haven't got them on, is it?' I said no politely and set about searching the edge of the road. Has soon as I found theme, I told the man. He took them, he opened the door and talked to someone inside. When the man had put his glasses on I could not tell what, but something looked different about him. He smiled at me. I thought before he was one of them, but now i am sure he's not. I could not imagine him striking or shooting anyone. The man put his hand in his pocket, took something out and offered it to me. It was a coin as he held out he's hand he said '' You must have something for you're trouble''
I told him no, and them to be more polite I said no thank you. At first he looked at little disconcerted then he smiled. I knew that in this case I must accept his thanks, and ask if i  could say How do you do to his wife. I did not know how to say so but entered the car. A women sat inside she was pretty, she had a pleasant clean smell, and she was smiling, so I said good evening to her. The man spoke to her in French. He asked her if she had ever come across a little Italian tramp, who spoke English with an Oxford accent and was offended when he was offered money.
I was just about to say I wasn't offended, when I decided not to, since they already thought i was strange because I spoke English, it was better not to let them know that he could speak French as well.
They had asked me a hole bunch of stuff what was my name, who i was, were I come from. I told them that my name was David and that I was off going to join the circus, farther north. They did not seem very interested. So they told me they were on a vacation, from a free country called England,. The women suggested we get this thin called sandwiches. I told her yes please. After the sandwiches. I asked her won't you let me go? I didn't  take your food before you said I could. The man said Of course you can go David. He sounded like Johannes. The  he continued: If there were any way we could help you you would tell us, wouldn't you?
 I replied "Yes sir". No there isn't good bye. The women didn't seem that she was OK with me going, it seem that she wanted to keep me. I got out of the car. And I ran back down the slope and here i am telling you guys this.

Chosing a god

Oh, God! As i got up I stumbled over a lose stone and triped. My compass went flying over the edge of the rock, were I had been sitting. Before I could put my hand out to catch it, it was to late. The sea was very deep under the rocks, and i know i will never find it again. I could not even hear the plop.

I don't know why a I said that ( Oh, God). It was the men sometimes in the camp that said that, in the camp when they were most in despair.
But as for myself I have no god, And no compass either.Freedom is precious and now I have nothing o defend it with.

OK. I think i must have a god. But which one should I chose? It is important to find the right one. I'd only I had listen to what the men ( I mean the other people ) had talked about in camp in the camp. I had only been interested in learning new words. If i had asked more questions i could of learned a lot more.
Here are the gods I know of:
There is the ones that Jews, had made so many demands in return for his help. But what do I have to give him. Nothing! And since I am not a Jews Perhaps I had no right to chose him. The god of the Catholics seemed to leave things to a women called Mary. Not that I have anything against women, but I know so little about them that maybe, it would be better to chose one who looked after things himself. Johannes should have taught me something about God. Instead, he had only told me about a man, also called David, who had, lived a long time ago. I am digging into my memory. I got it! That other David had said of his God, '' He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, He leadth me beside the still waters.''
That is the one I will chose!
I will note down my prayers, so that I keep track of what i say to him and what I ask.

'' God of the green pastures and the still waters, I am David  and I chose you as my God! But you must please understand that i can't do anything for you, because I've always been in a wicked place, were no one could think  or learn, or get to know anything, and I know nothing about what other people ought to do for there god. But the David Johannes used to talk about, knew that even if he couldn't see you, that you were there and stronger than any men. I pray that you help my that they will never catch me again. Then perhaps I can gradually find out about you so that I can, do something in return, and if you know were Johannes is now, will you please thank him for me, for going to Salonica , and tell him that now i am free and i can think about him again. I am David Amen.''
Perhaps it was a mistake saying Amen because thats what Catholics did, but I know it is a holy word, and that if you did not have an ending God would not know when you finished you're prayer.
I am glad I tough of that. I am now even more determine to go on living.
No every morning, and every evening too. I am able to tell by the sun which way i am going. I will be able to manage even with out a compass.

My own master

I am not used to traveling at night time anymore. It seems I am always tired. But as soon  as I am far enough from that town. I will begin traveling at day. Right now its not safe. By the way traveling in a terrain at night that has root, holes, and rocks that you can trip on isn't very safe either.
During a while yesterday Irealized that as long as people weren't able to take a good look at ,me, they would just think I was a normal boy passing by. There must be a lot of boy's just passing by, in that town. I didn't notice them because I was to busy trying to learn.
If only I could get a mirror. Then I could see what was wrong with my eyes. The sailor on board of the ship said something about my eyes. I think he said '' Mama Mia! '' Thats what he said alright about my eyes. And the man who was selling loaves. Said something about them to including one of his customer.
I am tired i should find a place to sleep.

I woke up a few minutes ago i woke up. I is still daylight, and i found myself looking straight out at sea! I already looked at my compass. Perhaps it it broken? But the needle moves as it should so it could not be. I am thinking perhaps I lost my way in the dark and i wondered round in a circle till I as back again in the neighborhood of the town. But perhaps the coastline curved right around and i had crossed a strip of land, with the sea on both sides of it.
Yes, that is it!
I just went towards the shore, so I could see alone the coast. I have found i had been right. The point of land and sea and the sky faded into one another, and it was blurred into the same shade of blue, now it lays in the opposite direction. But what now?
I have to go northwards thats what the man told me. But aren't I my own master. In the camp you had to listen to what the man or the others told you or else you had to face some horrible conscicwences. Now i am free. I learned to be my own master. I have to conserve my freedom. So why listen to what the man says. I am David I am my own master. And now there are no reasons why I should obey him. Or is there? The bundle lain under the tree, and I had gone south to Salonica, and had been a ship sailing for Italy. I had not yet discovered a trap, the man had set for me. But perhaps there was one in that country called Denmark. It was very puzzling. So far I don't got any answers.
But I've no need to worry about that now. If the bit of Italy I've been in so far juts out into the sea, as I think it does, then I better go more to the east. For that direction the land deems to follow. I will go and crews it now and I've better keep an eyes out for some oranges. Because I have no food left.

I am just stopping for breakfast now. I have found, a lot of oranges and i noticed that they grow on trees. I picked up two oranges because I will have on for breakfast, and one in reserve. For breakfast I had a piece of bread some fresh and clear water. Not muddy and tasteless like the one in the camp. But fresh and clear. To finish it of I had an orange. I better go now.

It's not safe anymore

I was really testing the man who sold the loafs. After he gave me a loaf of bread i would hide around thee corner and listen to him talk. Before every thing was fine he didn't talk about me or ask me anything he would just give me a loaf of bread and i would go around the corner, and listen.

Yesterday as i went around the corner. I heard him say i was strange, and that I had no expression. That i would look at the loaf and go. An other lady came and talked about me to. I decided this town was not safe for me anymore. I was sad for a bit I got used to my Rock, I was even quite attached to it. I even had a spacial place for my clothing, my treasures and everything.
I forgot, to tell you about the church. It was so beautiful. Each day as i went back to my rock I would stare and wonder. What religion I was in.
Johannes, had looked at me one day and said that i was not Jewish. He said that he was sure.

But i had to go it was not safe anymore.

A place to stay

I found shelter, It is kind of a big rock with two walls and a bit of a roof but i had to jump across a ledge. I had found kind of a big piece of wood that would work as a plank to get over it.
I had also found a town were every one is happy and this men who sells loafs gives one to me every day.
No body pays attention to me and I am practicing my writing. I am also reading every thing I can. Words are coming to be more easily every day.
But every day i am a bit more suspicious every day of him it seems as tough he is on to me he's the only one that has been taking to me.

What i know of

On the way... were ever I am going I saw some trees with weird orange things on theme I was starving. I picked one. I was wasn't sure if I could eat it. So with all my might I split it in two. Maybe it was poisonous. I was to starving to care and I licked it and waited to see if I felt sick afterward. I didn't so I tried the insides of it. I will not every thing down here
Taste: It has a quite bitter-sweet taste.
The peel: Tastes awful I spit it out.
smell: sweet.
I decided it was not poisonous. I ate a few.
Right now i am wandering. How come i didn't now these things. I am running trough every thing i now of right now.
Languages I know: First of course I know what they speak at the camp. Then i know French... thats what Johannes spoke. I know German, Italian, English. I know some, Spanish and a bit of Hebrew.
Knowing all these languages helped me. When I was speaking with that Italian on the ship, got me here.

I also know different methods and traps they set ( the concentration camp ). The sudden crafty friendliness, that meat they were hiding something, there pointless brutality. I am familiar with treachery, and i know what death looks like.
At the camp. Attempting at escaping were never successful, but that was not there fault. It was because there chances were to slender. Thats what I will do. I will make a plan of action, weighing what i know against what i did not, and carry it out with out allowing myself to be depressed, by my doubts or misled by hope.

However there are a lot of things I know nothing about. I know there are maps but I don't know how to read theme, I have never seen one. I don't know the any countries. There was food I didn't even know if that Orange thing, was good or bad.
Worst of all there are people. If I wanted to preserve my freedom I have to stay clear of theme but if I wanted to learn of theme I would have to come up close.
 I have to continue walking now and find shelter.

Scrubbing away all my troubles

I knew what I was going to do now.

It didn't take long before I had found a lake. I took all my dirty close off took my piece of soap and started scrubbing my self and my close.

Now I am clean as I could be. I had washed the sent of the camp, the dirt of the camp and the smell. I fell really clean now. I will wash myself each time I find a lake or some water. Now i just need to walk south using my compass.

what do you do with the drunken boy

I woke up a while ago. First thing I saw was the water-line...
Sorry  there wasn't enough light. I had to use the last of my treasures. My box of matches.
Then I saw a ship clearly bound for Italy. As soon as the truck had stopped I got off, and ran towards the ship.

Here I am in some kind of room. There are a bunch of bags in this room. Which is good if I need to hide. I really need water. I have gone 3 or 2 days with out it. I know what happens when you do not have enough water. I have seen men in the camp die.
All I can find is this strange red water. I am not sure if I should drink this. Then again I would die if I don't.

I decided I will drink it for my sake. There are many bottles so I don't think anybody will notice if I drink a few.

 Oh my dear god. Next thing I knew I was talking with a sailor that spoke quite weirdly. He seemed startled with me drinking the weird tasting water. He also explained to me a plane which I could get off, the ship. The only thing I was worried about, was that the plan included me going off into the ocean and swimming to shore. Then he explained to me what a life belt was.

Here I am safe. I started crying as I saw the many wonderful colors. All I really saw before were trees. But now I see so many different colors. Before all I knew was gray, and black.
I think now I have seen my will to live. I see something to live for. I see a hope in those many colors.

Off to Salonica

I don't know exactly why i got in. Its as my feet mechanically just started to walk on their own. I have to try to get a hiding place in here there are plenty of boxes i might as well hide in one of those boxes in the back.

Cheese!!!!! There is cheese in these boxes. I know i am stealing but its for my own survival.

I am full now. I haven't got a chance to explain why I am writing this journal. Well I just escaped from a concentration camp. I am scared and is someone or they finally kill me then, they will know what i have been trough how i thought and fell about the hole thing this might even become a documentary.
And if who ever reads this doesn't know who I am.
I am David. I am 12 years old and I escaped from a concentration camp. I am off to find a better life.

The most amazing thing happened to me yesterday. I fell asleep and I got woken up by the hummer of the engine as if it were starting again. But it was still night I now knew what it had felt like be locked up in one of the cells, Johannes had once talked about. It was like inky blackness with out being able to move, with out being able to die.
In these past few days I wanted to die I didn't mind my legs and feet bleeding. Cause I felt and still feel like i don't care if i die i lost my will to live. What if Denmark isn't better I never trusted the man. We never talked we just looked at each other and walk away. Why should i trust him he's like the others. He doesn't care about us.

I had to shake away that thought. When I did I thought about Johannes. I whispered '' Johannes... Johannes'' Ever since Johannes died of what they so call a heart attack. I had to be a rock I was not supposed to talk about Johannes, was not supposed to think about Johannes, I was a rock.
I thought about how Johannes was there for me ever since I could remember. He had thought me every thing he knew. What it was like not to live in here. What the food was like, everything. He was my best friend..
I was thinking about the horror when i saw him laying there...dead.
After a while memories flashing back into my head I had hear a voice. Somewhere far away and it said that it was going to come with me to Salonica. I already knew who it was. It was Johannes. His spirit came to make sure I travel well. I had said thank you.
I am really tires I will go to sleep now.

Beyond the wall

It was time a minutes to seconds the match will be stroked and I will have 30 seconds to climb over the wall and if I can't even make in 30 sec the current will be put back on;run out of the field before I'm in to the wood. I pressed my self against the wall. I saw the man strike a match and over I went i went when will the search light come.
I found myself over the fence. I ran to the tree, I found a compass, a bottle of water,and surprisingly a knife and some bread. I tough for a moment if actually cared for me or felt sorry.But I still hated him. There was no time to waste I ran as fast as i could across the field. Why weren't they shooting!
Suddenly I stopped i was filled with anger, hate and rage. I was tired of being afraid every single second of my life.
I they wanted to shoot my now they could but I will not be scared anymore. So I walked the rest of the way.
Surprisingly they did not shot me. I had rapped every thing up in a handkerchief. And followed the arrow south.


I think its been five days now.
I was for into the woods and a came upon a thicket, the arrow was pointing right trough the ticket I didn't know much about theme and how they work all I knew was it always pointed north.
I didn't want to lode my way so i decided to go trough it. I had my elbow protecting my face. It hurt so much. Half way trough i heard a wimping kind of noise. I relised it was me I locked down at my legs, arms and feet. They were torn and bloody. I had to get trough there was not no other way.
I finally got trough i walked and sometimes limped, from the thicket, but he managed to run slowly.
Day after they with the first glimmer of day light, i wet down to sleep the reason why I did so was because they may be looking for me no one is trustworthy.

One morning I woke up with something soft and cuddly touching my hands. I felt scared and opened my eyes it was a sheep. But were there is a sheep there are people. I cannot be discovered they can not know I came from a concentration camp. So i got up and ran south with my compass.
Sheep and more sheep's I can not be seen. I am normally satisfied with little food I am trying to save as much as i can if there is a water pump i will fill the water bottle. I am also trying to find some blueberries or raspberries but i have found nothing.

I was running earlier and I stumbled across a campfire there is water in a bucket and bread and cheese, there was no one here it was midnight at least so i am taking the water and filling by bucket, and taking some food but i will leave crumbs and put the crumbs a bit every were so that they think that the sheep's eat it. Because whoever lives here owns this livestock.
I stayed in tell I saw 2 shepherds as soon as I saw them I ran as fast as I could so I will be at least out of sight.

Sometimes I jogged sometimes I waked but I took breaks more often but they were quicker so I would not waste my energies.

While I was passing a town I heard 2 men taking I ducked for cover.While they were lighting up this weird sticks. It made smoke and went straight into my face I started to cry. I was listening to them talk because they said something about going to Salonica.
Next thing I knew I was in their van, and i was heading for Salonica!

A chance to freedom

My name is David I've been in the concentration camp all my life but i think its going yo change i am writing this journal, because, I think this might be an adventure if i Evan ever live to finish it. I will talk more about it in an other entry.

Today I was frozen listening to the man muttering quietly. He was telling me that I could get away tonight out of this camp. That i would have to stay awake so that I will be ready, for when the guards change. He told me that he would strike a match,and will turn off the current so i will have half a minute to climb over, but no more.

I had known the man for all my life, but i never spoke to him, I never asked him for anything. I hated him he had small repulsive eyes. His expression never changes. He was very gross and fat. I do know his name its just giving him a name would he like, it would be like admitting that he was a friend or Evan that i actually knew him. It would be like placing him on equal footing with the others.

I wondered what would happen if I didn't. And if I don't escape? I had asked nervously.
He shrugged and told my that he had to leave the day after so it won't be his problem.
I had also asked him what will be next for me if I did manage to escape. He told me that by the big tree that was by the road out to the mines. I will be able to find a bottle of water and a compass and that I should follow it south. He explained to me how I should use it. And that i should follow the little arrow till I reach Salonica. Then I will have to find a ship that is going to Italy, and that i should climb aboard when no one is looking. He also told me to make sure I hide, in tell I get to Italy.
He also told me I will be safe there and that if I try to take anyone with me that neither of us will get away.

I didn't know why but my eyes fell on a bar of soap and If I did get out I would need to use it.I still don't why I asked him normally when you hate someone you just don't ask theme for something.

Right now I am trying to figure out if I should trust him or not who sais when i get to the field he won't just shot at me.. There is no cover, no trees no big rocks, nothing. But its either i die here in pain and torture, or die out there i will probably get shot and it will only take a minute and i will be dead.. If i don't die well I probably will die over there. But there still are chances that I live. I am supposed to be safe there, but why...
But i guess its worth giving a go.

Its decided I will go.